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Really Ricky???Great timing…

Today my Twitter timeline (I love them for saving my from watching the news) informed me that always Latin,former sensation,Ricky Martin had officially come out of the closet.Ok…I would have appreciated Ricky letting me know that he was in there. I thought it was just one of those things like “Do you really have to ask?”

Am I supposed to be surprised?Is this the part where I cover my mouth and put on my shocked face? Boy boo! I don’t have time to be hearing this kind of “news” in 2010.You know when this would’ve been really helpful Ricky? Hmmm 10 years ago.You know…when we asked you! And you gave us that line about loving women…or maybe you didn’t say anything.I don’t remember.It wasn’t relevant.It was very clear from the gyrating hips in leather pants and the frosted tips.

But NO instead of telling us you decided to hide out with Rosie O’Donnell.Which is cool.This is not a blog about me having something against gay people.I don’t.I have little to nothing against anyone. BUT do you know how much good you could have done? How many you Latino boys you could have saved with the knowledge that they weren’t alone? How many boys in general? How many lives you could have made better with the news of your sexuality back when you were relevant?
Not that I want to rush people.I don’t.You should take all the time you need.I just…I wish you would’ve been ready then.Ready to save lives.To make high school a little more bearable for at least one kid who was busy listening to you “Living la Vida Loca” all the while pretending to be living la vida hetero SMH.
Come on Ricky did you really think we believed you?I was so sure and so OK with the fact that you were gay that it never occurred to me to see if it was true.You know,it was just one of those things.Didn’t bother me.
In other news: water is wet.My President is Black.My Chrysler is white…so on and so forth.I’m going to hold the rest of my jokes…for now.
But in closing, if everyone thinks that you’re gay.And you actually are gay.You may as well come out because people won’t think any different of you.I bet its easier and less stressful.In addition to being potentially helpful to others.Don’t be selfish.

btw I know that Ricky Martin does a lot for charity.Giving away money and even time aren’t the only ways to not be selfish.Get your life together people.

2010
03/30
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I would just like to say for the record that I do not now,nor did I or will I EVER care if/when Beyonce gets pregnant. I celebrate life as much as the next blogger who never wants to have kids.BUT since when did her eggs become more important than the next woman’s? I’m sure it will be a great and adorable baby if/when it gets here.But until then.I do not care to peep through bed room windows and dig through trashcans…I got bills

~Vonda

2010
03/27
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Spring Break YouTube randomness

I saw this last night.It makes me all kinds of inexplicable happy and I thought I’d share.You love it.And if you don’t…you suck and if you ever have kids they won’t like you.Its true.Read the fine print 😉

2010
03/20
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Chrisette Michele in KCMO

I.LOVE.CHRISETTE.MICHELE. I am aware that I don’t know her so before you start being all sarcastic I will say I love the artist.The music.The very idea of someone who can think and write like Chrisette ( I like to think we’re friends so I call her by her first name lol).Anywway…I saw her live.In concert.Very close up Tuesday night in KCMO.I almost passed out several times.It was AMAZSOME!!! I’ll tell you about it.

My friend Meagan and I had been waiting on this for months. We drove into KC with time to spare(most of it was time that we had alloted for getting lost as we tend to do that). We pay to park in a very weirdly spaced garage and walk into the Midland. First of the Midland is a very fancy looking place.Its very ornate and there are paintings on the ceiling.Its the kind of place that makes you feel like you should “act like you got some sense”.

Right off I’m like “I want a t shirt!” so after some confusion about an ATM and some VERY noticable and objectifying (is that  word) flirting from the t shirt guys(“Really dude? “I’d love to see you model that small shirt.I know you got a lot going on under that shirt”) I got a shirt.Except it wasn’t the one I wanted because they had only super small sizes and I wasn’t happy about that.But what can you do? I wasn’t too mad about the flirting ,neither was Meagan it was harmless and funny.Also, in hindsight we,meaning Meagan,should’ve flirted a bit more and tried to get backstage.But I digress…

We had 6th row seats to the left of the stage.Apparently at the Midland that means 3rd row.Fine by me. *cue good seats happy dance* The opening act was Laura Izibor. I didn’t really know who she was before last night.I’m not gonna lie but people GET FAMILIAR. Her performance was great. She has a natural comfort that I look for in artists. Think…Alicia Keys(lazy comparison because she plays the piano and writes). Either way her voice is BANANAS and I def bought that CD.

After Laura…we waited.And waited…for Chrisette.It wasn’t that bad because Meagan and I used that time to check out that people in the theater and have a conversation that was probably very inappropriate considering our expensive looking surroundings lol

The only issue I had was that Chrisette has a very wide fan base.From 18-80 and they were all in there.That coupled with the prestigious surroundings made me feel like I should sit and be cordial.I didn’t want to sit and be cordial. Sometimes I wanted to be very loud and 21 years old.But I was sitting next to a lady who could have been my mother and she didn’t look like she was trying to have all that.

So I sat there and rocked like a manic in my seat being very well  behaved…considering.I think I was perfect I only whooped and screamed…most of the time 😉 Chrisette is one of the rare artists that actually sounds better live. I’ll say that one more time for the auto tune generation BETTER LIVE. I know…I know…its a crazy concept but it’s so amazing to see.

I’ve tried to think about how I can say this for a minute and I still haven’t come up with anything good enough.I might have to do a blog later just as a review. But Chrisette has a voice so distinct,so pure and powerful that I left that theater feeling like I had never accomplished anything in my 21 years.She is so good at what she does that you start to feel like you shouldn’t even try to do it.Just turn in your microphone on the way out. Here I am thinking that I’m a pretty decent singer and she comes out disrespecting everything that I even thought was talent.I officially quit singing in the shower!

But as long as Chrisette keeps doing what she does…I’ll just play my iPod while shower.No big deal 😉

2010
03/19
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YouTube randomness:Handsome Men’s Club

I am a woman.I happen to be marginally attractive.Therefore I am objectified every day.I enjoy the moments when I am able to objectify men.They make me smile from my heart(all kinds of funny valentine).Anyway Jimmy Kimmel was hyping this for weeks and its actually pretty funny.Kimmel is doing well with these things.Remember his whole Ben Affleck,Matt Damon thing?Classic.

All I can ask for is…more Taye Diggs.He is just…Bassey Ikpi(awesome poet I follow on Twitter) said once that Taye’s skin is God’s favorite color.I concur 😉

2010
03/13
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YouTube Randomness

There is something to be said for the suggested videos on your YouTube home page =)

Now I could go into a whole rant about how kids shouldn’t know songs like this blah blah blah.But the truth is that this video is adorable.And I was having a bad day.This video cheered me up.When you think about it he wasn’t really even singing the song.Just dancing around being cute.With dimples.Whats not to love?Maybe I’ll feel differently later.But right now…I think its funny.You love it.

2010
03/10
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The Oscars…or the parts that I watched.

The Oscars! I very rarely make it through the entire show.Its long and tedious. I feel like I’m working.Plus a lot of those categories feel made up to me. I’m sorry if that’s mean.Except I’m really not.

Anyway I waited until the end of the day because the day after is when you hear the most interesting stuff.AND I wanted to see Oprah’s Oscar party show.That ish is always good because the celebs are usually all tired and hung over.Then they’re with Oprah so they’ll answer anything.Its great.

But on to the parts that I was interested in. There weren’t many. I’ll say off tops that I knew Gabby(I can call her that because in my head we’re best friends) wasn’t about to win that Oscar.Not that she didn’t do a great job.Just that I knew Monique was going to win and I’d be smoking some of the finest kush on the planet(not that I do that) if I thought they were going to let TWO black women win anything over there at the Academy(silly people thinking that HA!). I do think that Gabby may have been the most drastically different from her character. For a girl so obviously bubbly she brought that hurt to life.

But who won?Sandra Bullock.I love Sandra Bullock. I really do.And I really liked “Blind Side” surprisingly. Usually I’m not for that “theres no Black problem that a nice white family can’t fix” kind of story. But it wasn’t that bad a story and Bullock was REALLY good in it. I do love that this was a different type of character than we’ve seen her play.

I could sit and compare/contrast all night but it won’t take that Oscar off Bullock’s mantle.Nor should it. She worked just like everyone else and she earned it. I hate when people down talk someone who was given an award.She didn’t make them give it to her.She just tried for it.She should not be made to feel bad when she should be celebrating such a huge accomplishment. Plus I hope this isn’t the last we hear from Gabby.Well the last y’all hear.She and I talk all the time…in my head.Or whatever.

On to Monique.She killed that part in “Precious”. I have my own laundry list of issues with that movie but Monique isn’t on it.The character is. But Monique played it so well that Mary Jones is a separate individual to me. Mary Jones scares me. The kind of fear that makes me shake with anger and get all red in the face. Monique PLAYED that.I don’t know where you even look for the kind of demon it takes to be a woman like Mary Jones and not take it home with you.

Did you see her swing that skillet?! Ooooooooohhhhhhhh! I couldn’t take it.

The real beauty,for the hardcore nerds out there, is the way Monique dressed. Ever hear the name Hattie McDaniel?You know the first black woman to win an Oscar.IN the Best Supporting Actress category?Yea…she wore a blue dress.And a flower in her hair that night in 1939.

Know your history people.McDaniel was opening doors that she wouldn’t even be around to walk through. Even with all that she took working in Hollywood in those days there have only been… four other black women to win an Oscar since.Whoopi Goldberg, Halle Berry,Jennifer Hudson, and now Monique. Thats it. I see a problem there but I’m trying to keep it light.Just google black actresses nominated for Oscars and see who on that list deserved it and went home empty handed.

Oh yea…I know I should say something about t Kanye/Lil Mama incident of the night.But really there is no point. Want to know why?Ask me why….because it was a BLACK man and a WHITE woman. Oh this time it was in reverse so no one wants to talk about it. Kanye is still getting side eyed and no one is talking about the crazy chick who looks like ol’ girl from Facts of Life rushing the stage. I’m just going to throw it out there that it was bogus.You can call me racially sensitive if you want to.Go ahead.All I know is that the next time I see a white person.ANY white person accepting an award, I’m interrupting it. All types of disrespectful.

*grabs mic* “Hey I know you’re white and all and I’m real happy for you about that,and I’mma let you finish…BUT black people are awesome!And,AND we can dance and keep the beat at the same time!Suck on THAT!!!”  *drops mic*

It’ll probably just make them more famous. Meanwhile 24 hours later no one even knows this dude’s name.Its Roger Ross Williams btw

2010
03/09
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Mid day randomness(you love it):Killed by a tiger.

My friend asked on her facebook status “What do tigers dream about?” I’ve been thinking about this clip since I read that.
AND you get killed.AND you get killed by a tiger.AND you get killed by a tiger…in a zoo…LOL

Not that animal maulings are funny.They are not.Especially unprovoked.When a gorilla attacks someone for no reason that’s all bad.We have to take out the gorilla.They’re clearly aggressive.But IF adults climb into an animal habitat.Not just any habitat…but one filled with tigers(or any other dangerous carnivorous animal).I have to wonder what you thought was going to happen…please someone tell me.
If I have a sign that says BEWARE OF DOGS and you don’t become aware.I need you not to come knocking on my door crying with a German Shepard attached to your ass.I warned you.

2010
03/08
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Late night YouTube once again

I should be in bed.I know this.So stop judging me because I know already.Straight up this is a pretty long video but I remember the day I watched it I couldn’t breathe for laughing. Another great example of how the simple things make me happy.Just watch it.Its worth it 😉

2010
03/06
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Is Black History Month gone yet?

I promised a rant on Black History Month.But being a self respecting,self righteous Black woman I had to wait until it was out of earshot.And if February had been awarded the same amount of days as any other month this still would’ve been a safe day…right?

Anyway,all jokes beside(yes I said that on purpose.Its clever) this may have been one of the worst Black History Months ever! First off there was that random and unnecessary blizzard disrespecting the nation. I mean DC was under at least three feet of snow the entire month! Isn’t that Chocolate City?Wait maybe that’s Atalanta…no pretty sure its DC and ATL is the Black Mecca…I CAN”T KEEP UP. The point here is that a lot of black people were being oppressed by white snow. I said it! How dare that snow disrespect our brown ness during our month?!Hell we only get 28 days…just mean.

Oh! Before I forget:  Dear television networks,

Thank you for attempting to acknowledge Black History Month with your programming.BUT just because a movie has people of color in it…doesn’t mean that its the best choice.Now why would one show “Whats Love Got To Do With It” as a part of Black History programming? *side eyes Vh1* This is a movie where a man beats and rapes his wife.Is that a proper description of black families? Oh don’t get happy Lifetime. Was this really the best time to premiere “Sins of the Mother”? Great a movie about an addict mom and here dysfunctional daughter…both black.Great.Ummm next time just stick to…well just call me and tell me what you’re planning.I’ll let you know if it’s a good idea.

~Vonda

But that’s just a small thing.Can we talk about Teddy Pendergrass? I know I’m young but I’m not too young to appreciate good music.Not that I’m going to pretend to know a whole lot about Teddy except that a lot of people my age were probably conceived to his music.While thats nasty to think about(ewww parents having sex). Either way it hurt hearts worldwide when he died. Love TKO! *cries*  Worst Black History Month EVER!

As if that wasn’t enough. Other legends allowed themselves to be disrespected during this month of celebration. Roberta Flack…well she disrespected herself. I love Roberta.I do.I feel like everyone has to respect her on principle.And I do…respect her.When she showed up on the Grammys this year with Maxwell I was excited.For a minute anyway.Let me just say that I would never make fun of Roberta Flack. I love her.I sing “First Time Ever I Saw Your Face” in the shower all the time. “Killing Me Softly” is the JOINT.Shame on you if you think The Fugees were the originators of that classic!

BUT there were plenty of other people making fun of her and that made me mad. I think Roberta needs more people because something went left. Shes a beautiful woman but according to the things I heard…someone told her wrong and that makes me sad.I don’t want to hear that.

Maxwell and Roberta Flack...this is supposed to be a music lover's dream.

 That Grammy incident was bad enough by itself. But not be outdone BET managed to break my heart a little more. Someone just tell me why Stevie Wonder was on stage scatting to “Invented Sex”? I like that song and I like Trey Songz but this is Stevie Wonder! First he was on stage with the Jonas Brothers and now this? Stevie needs more people.Then,THEN he said to Trey “I’ll follow you”. HUH? Stevie done lost his grip on that Ribbon in the Sky.You don’t follow Stevie.YOU LEAD!

I will assume you get my point by now.Oprah is talking to child molesters,John Mayer saying the N word and pointing to his prejudice penis…SMH.It was all bad.Except my 21st birthday of course 😉 To top it all off I didn’t hear any Black History facts. Is this month just a joke now?Next year needs to be better or I might start boycotting.

2010
03/06
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